My Screwed Up Valentine
by Insane Guy of DOOM
Summary: When Ember's guitar malfunctions during a fight with Danny, everyone in Casper high is now madly in love, with the wrong person! Due to her shallowness, Paulina is the only one who isn't affected. Can she save the day? I sure hope so, or otherwise no DXS!
1. A Whole Lot a' Weird

I wanted to write this story last year, then writer's block struck and it died. Now I shall try it again.

* * *

Valentine's Day, the day of romance, the day of showing your affection towards those you love, the day where stores make a killing on cards and candy, and this year, it is the day that something very strange that does not normally happen happened.

"You're what!?!" Danny yelled in shock at Sam.

"Breaking up with you." Sam replied.

"B-but why? I love you! And I thought you loved me!" Danny seemed to be on the verge of tears. Sam sighed in annoyance.

"Danny we went through with this before, I'm only breaking up with you for today. I'm not supporting this stupid holiday, so I must be single." Sam explained which did nothing to comfort the halfa.

"Does he have to get like this every year? "Tucker complained, as Danny was now using him as a human tissue.

"Danny. We. Are. Only. Breaking. Up. For. The. Rest. Of. The. Day." Sam said slowly, hoping to get the message through his head. "We. Will. Get. Back. Together. When. Valentine's Day. Is. Over. Understand?" Danny blew his nose with Tucker's shirt.

"Come on Sam? Can't we ever do something romantic on Valentine's Day? Just this once? It's supposed to be the most romantic day of the year for Pete's sake!" Danny flailed his arms around for emphasis. Before Sam could answer a familiar blue gas-thing emerged from Danny's mouth. "Ah, great." The halfa sighed and transformed into his ghostly alter-ego. Fortunately he didn't have to look far to see who the ghostly perpetrator was. Ember…

"Out of my way Dipstick, I've got things to do!" The ghost-rock star shouted while shoving Danny aside.

"These things involve taking over the world don't they?"

"Maybe." Ember said embarrassedly. _I really have to make my plans not so obvious,_ the ghost thought to herself, _maybe then I'd never have to even bother with this dipstick._ Before her thoughts could go any further Danny shot an ecto-blast at her. Unfortunately, Danny's recent crying had left his eyes blurry and his aim was a centimeter off. So instead of hitting Ember, it hit her guitar. "NO!" Ember screeched as multiple pink beams shot from the instrument. "Do you know what you've done?" Then the guitar itself exploded, engulfing all of Casper High in the love spell. As the dust settled everyone got up. Finding themselves madly in love, but with who was quite the surprise…

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For those who don't want to have parts of the story spoiled don't read this part.

For those who kept reading, here are what the insane parings are.

SamxPaulina (One sided, Paulina is horrified)

DannyxFenton Thermos (I've always wanted to do a story where I could use this paring)

TuckerxJazz (Geeks in Love!)

Mr. LancerxEmber

Dash, KwanxStar

ValeriexHer Ghost-Hunting Equipment


	2. Geeks in Love

Chapter Two!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Geeks in Love" by Lemon Demon. I thought if fit Jazz and Tucker very well though, seeing as how Tucker is a self proclaimed "Techno-Geek" and Jazz is kind of geeky in her own special way.

* * *

Paulina felt a bizarre sensation overcome her, a warm fuzzy feeling that caused everyone else to fall head-over-heels in love with the first person or thing they saw. Paulina on the other hand, was so shallow that she was completely immune to its effects.

"Hmm, I wonder what that was. I guess it was just my unending love for myself!" She said happily before giving herself a hug. Paulina skipped out of the bathroom and walked straight into a dazed just-hit by the love ray Sam. "Out of my way looser!" Paulina yelled at the Goth but as she shoved Sam aside Paulina noticed a rather strange look in her eyes.

"I've spent all these years obsessing over Danny…" Sam said in a lovesick tone. "But now I know that I really love… YOU!" Sam leaned into kiss Paulina, who screamed in terror and ran off. "Playing hard to get I see?" Sam giggled (That's the love spell making her like that). "Come back you little devil you!"

Paulina ran down the hallway at breakneck speed. _What the heck's wrong with Mason? She's bi now? I should've listened to my mom about this kind of thing!_ Just then the prep skidded to a halt when she saw the sight before. _It isn't just Manson, everyone's gone loco!_ Ember and Mr. Lancer were cuddling, Valerie was proclaiming her undying love to a large anti-ghost ray gun thing, and Danny was staring romantically at the Fenton thermos.

"I gotta get off this crazy train!" Paulina yelled. She ran past the disturbing lovers and ended up in the science lab. There she saw one of the strangest sights yet.

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Musical Number ahead

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"Oh Tucker…" Jazz cooed.

"Oh Jazz…" Tucker responded. "Come my beautiful, let's have a romantic montage!" Techno-Geek Guy exclaimed. Jazz and Tucker linked arms and frolicked off as the montage began.

Tucker and Jazz in a duet: _**Nobody's cool as we, nor quite as esoterically far out.  
We're so far out it's creepy.  
I don't think they'll ever get the groovy standards that we set for love,  
but they're not smart like we be.**_

They have no roses.  
Subconsciously they envy us a lot.  
They look down their noses and see a couple of dorks with more love than they have got.

When they see us holding hands, they wish that they were geeks in love.  
And when they hear our favorite bands, they wish that they were geeks in love.  
We rattle off our in-jokes while they wish that they were geeks in love.  
And while we make each other smile, they wish that they were geeks in...

La la la,  
la la la,  
la-lubbidy-da-diddy-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
ka-boominy-woah-nelly-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
ga-shibbidy-waffles-and-love.  
La la la,  
la la la la love.

As far as I can tell, while other lovers go through heck,  
we'll know we're too cool for damnation.  
We may not be cutting edge, but we won't take the mainstream pledge,  
for we don't need your admiration.

They may not show it.  
It doesn't fit their made-up little roles.  
They don't even know it, but jealousy abounds within their souls.

When they see us on the street, they wish that they were geeks in love.  
And when they hear us trick or treat, they wish that they were geeks in love.  
As we lock arms and skip away, they wish that they were geeks in love.  
And you can almost hear them say they wish that they were geeks in...

La la la,  
la la la,  
la-lubbidy-do-diddy-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
fa-doobidy-ding-dong-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
za-muppety-puppety-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
sha-peppity-bismol-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
a-bubbly-lava-lamp-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
ma-spockity-nimoy-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
da-ponkity-ponkity-love.  
La la la,  
la la la,  
geekity-geekity-geeks in love.

After the singing ended Tucker and Jazz embraced and began making out. "Too much looser love!" Paulina covered her eyes and tried to run out of the room, only to hit a wall instead. She looked around dazed, before blacking out.

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Meanwhile

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Danny held the Fenton Thermos up to his face and kissed it. "Oh Thermos, how long I've loved you. But, how exactly are we gonna?" Danny removed the top of the thermos and watched its sucking motion, he blushed and put the top back on. "That answers that question."

"Oh Mr. Lancer, I never knew how wonderful books were until now." Ember said to her new soul-mate. Mr. Lancer smiled and held up another book.

"Let's make out while reading this one next!" Lancer exclaimed. Danny stared in disgust at the two.

"Come on Thermos. Let's go somewhere more private, and with less old people." The halfa and his new thermos-y love strolled away, hardly noticing Paulina passed out body being dragged towards a broom closet by a very evil looking Sam…

* * *

Paulina is in big trouble, will she be able to save the day? I highly doubt it, but we must keep hoping lest Danny/Sam will die forever!


End file.
